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Admittance — Episode 1: Social Avoidance
I am socially… avoidant.
It’s similar to the symptoms of social anxiety, but it’s not social anxiety!
It’s more of the inner workings behind my style of play in social situations.
And this style of play works for the most part. The problem is that the inner mechanisms responsible for managing this style of play aren’t sustainable.
Don’t forget that two people can behave exactly the same with a completely different inner world!
Been trying my entire life to figure out what it means to be securely attached to somebody.
Still don’t know what that feels like.
I was not unpopular by any means growing up.
But I was covertly avoidant of social situations.
People couldn’t tell.
And to be honest, there were only a few people I actually cared about.
I have a hard time understanding how people can have so many friends, give a shit about so many people, and maintain a ton of relationships, all while also having lives of their own.
