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Admittance: Self-sabotage
Do you self-sabotage?
Let’s talk about it.
I do, and I just can’t help it.
I don’t like change, unless I feel like squandering everything.
Like everything.
Hopeless and aimless.
I like to stifle my progress.
Winning streaks are meant to be broken.
If everything in life is going well… well, what is there for me to fixate on?
Nothing to obsess about.
What am I missing?
Things can stay perfect so maybe if I leave them that way… I can runaway and just lose myself.
Of course, they will stay preserved in the state I left them in. Absolutely.
That when I come back, everything will be fine, just like when I left them.
Is that how I am when things are going in any particular direction? Yes.
Moving in a particular direction is fine but what’s at the end of that path, I’m not so sure.
Success, happiness, freedom, independence — these things sound so nice to have.
But it’s boring and sustainable and freeing, and that disorients my chaotic and…
