just trynna figure things out

i got a myriad of problems but i think i can handle them

woah

One of the hardest things about life is when it gets bigger.

I’ve been sober for a year, no alcohol or drugs, but I still vape and I still smoke.

Now I guess in terms of possibilities for vices, I can go back to the using or I could also quit smoking.

Is it just me or is okay to have at least a few vices here or there to balance things out?

I’m no saint, and I’m definitely not a Luke Skywalker, but I do aspire to find success and discover meaning and value, all which defines what I do on a daily basis.

That’s why I am here, really because I don’t know if I am doing the right thing.

And that feeling is something that I constantly struggle with.

It’s contrary to when I’m in psychosis and everything I do is with conviction and with delusion.

But now that I am sober, may I and can I still be deluded? Is it okay to be deluded? Is it even possible to live life completely without delusion?

I think part of it is being okay with being a little insecure.

I sit with my insecurities now instead of coping in unhealthy ways.